Overly Melodramatic

I can't believe how ridiculously teen angsty I am today. Overly melodramatic.
I cried.
I got angry.
I got over it.
I was alone a bit.
I started posting to a pro-ana forum.
What the hell??

I AM NOT anorexic. Do not want to be. I love my body, I know I am beautiful. So why am I doing this?

Support? Affirmation? The feeling of belonging?
I don't need this.
I don't want to get caught up in this.
Ugh.
I need to think.

Mediocrity

Meh. I'm disappointed in myself.
I used to be better than this.
I used to be able to do anything.
I used to be the best.
Now.
Now I'm ordinary.
Mediocre.
Average.
I hate it.
Absolutely hate it.

And the worst thing is: I'm still not doing anything about it. I've lost my motivation. I hate wallowing in self-pity, yet I do nothing to make myself feel better. It's easier being miserable.

I hate this.